its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize