Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
