Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
