Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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