I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
