i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder