Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just pee around me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us