he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.