I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home