Im at strip club and am horny
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.