wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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