You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm just crazy horny about you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
