she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize