I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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