that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
