There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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