oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
