I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize