My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
