Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
