i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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