I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
