how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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