You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
