White coat. Heels.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
