I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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