I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
