clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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