Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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