She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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