I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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