porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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