just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
