Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
