All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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