dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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