Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize