Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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