I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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