so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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