Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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