The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
