Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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