We won't sleep together?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
