Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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