Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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