Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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