I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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