And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
