the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
