She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
