Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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