My first STD was from a foam party
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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