im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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