I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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