you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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