Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
