East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
