Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
