i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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