Barsexuality is the new black.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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