Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
