Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
