I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize