the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
